How to say no the right way

Ok, we all know that “No” can be a full sentence.

However, when your boss (or anyone, for that matter) is asking you to do something that is going to require you to carve into your personal time, it is ok to say “No,” but you want to do this the right way.

If you say “No” without context or a plan, it can seem like you’re not a team player. (Don’t shoot the messenger on this! I don’t make the rules; I just know about them and talk about them.)

So, here’s how you guard your space without the risks that come with saying “No.”

Use my “No. Because. But.” method.

The Method

This three-step formula can help you set boundaries without coming across as inflexible or disrespectful. This method is formulaic and easy to both remember and implement.

• Start with a clear refusal by saying “no” directly. For example, “I’m sorry, I won’t be able to complete that proposal over the weekend.” This has the same effect as a “No,” and it is direct.

• Following the refusal, provide a brief reason to make your boundary more understandable. This could be something like, “because I’ve made prior plans that I can’t change.” It’s important to keep the reason concise and, if possible, reference something external or non-negotiable to avoid delving into personal details. But you don’t have to give any specifics at all! That part is up to you.

• Finally, end with “but” by offering a reasonable alternative, such as, “but I can start working on it first thing Monday morning if that works for you.” Basically, you want to provide options that fit into your schedule.

This approach not only clarifies your boundaries but also shows that you are still willing to contribute within your capacity, which reinforces your commitment to the team. Again, it’s important to re-emphasize that, in the “but” portion of this method, you are providing options on your terms.

Happy declining!